On death and life

Yesterday was Easter, Resurrection Sunday. However, we did not spend it the way we typically do.  Instead of going to a sunrise church service, or our own church, Jeremy and I spent some time on Easter morning at Hospice, holding the hand of my grandfather who is hanging between life and death.  It was a precious and profound moment for me.  In a way, it helped me to understand Easter better, in a more personal way.

The kids could not go see grandpa, so Nicole made him this rainbow loom bracelet, to show him that she loves him.

Four months ago, my grandpa was diagnosed with lung cancer that was already very advanced.  He put up a brave battle, but it was too much for his already aging body.  He was an intelligent man, who worked hard his whole life, kept a neat appearance and had much pride and love for his family.  This made our visit on Saturday and Sunday especially hard.  His wife handled him with sweet love and much dignity as he entered his final hours, being sure he was clean shaven, with fresh breath, and combed hair.

I got to spend about an hour with him on Sunday, much of the time, sitting on his bed next to him, holding his hand and singing worship songs and reading scripture.  I have never been in this situation before, never looked death in its face, never really contemplated what may be happening in those moments.  At first I was scared, but now I count it as one of the greatest experiences of my life, with incredible significance on Easter Sunday.

You see, Easter is not about chocolate, peeps, egg hunts, little bunnies, or the big freaky ones that parents stand in line for their young children to take a picture with.  Nope, none of that has any true significance.    Easter is about sin.  It is about death.  It is about life.  Easter is about reconciliation. Easter is about newness in Christ.  It is about hope.  Easter is about Jesus.

Laying with grandpa, and talking to him, all of those themes came out.  It was difficult to not be overwhelmed when singing and reading about the final work Christ completed on the cross, while holding the hand of a man cradling death.

We sang O Glorious Day

One day when Heaven is filled with His praises

One day when sin was as black as could be

Jesus came forth to be born of a virgin

Dwelt among men, my example is He

Word became flesh and the light shined among us

His glory revealed

Living, He loved me

Dying, He saved me

Buried, He carried my sins far away

Rising, He justified freely forever

One day He's coming

Oh glorious day, oh glorious day

One day they led Him up Calvary's mountain

One day they nailed Him to die on a tree

Suffering anguish, despised and rejected

Bearing our sins, my Redeemer is He

Hands that healed nations, stretched out on a tree

And took the nails for me

'Cause Living, He loved me

Dying, He saved me

Buried, He carried my sins far away

Rising, He justified freely forever

One day He's coming

Oh glorious day, oh glorious day

One day the grave could conceal Him no longer

One day the stone rolled away from the door

Then He arose, over death He had conquered

Now He's ascended, my Lord evermore

Death could not hold Him, the grave could not keep Him

From rising again

Rising again

Living, He loved me

Dying, He saved me

Buried, He carried my sins far away

Rising, He justified freely forever

One day He's coming

Oh glorious day, oh glorious day

One day the trumpet will sound for His coming 

One day the skies with His glories will shine

Wonderful day, my Beloved One, bringing

My Savior, Jesus, is mine

Living, He loved me

Dying, He saved me

Buried, He carried my sins far away

Rising, He justified freely forever

One day He's coming

Oh glorious day, oh glorious day

Oh, glorious day

Oh, glorious day

and we sang In Christ Alone

In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone! who took on flesh
Fulness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones he came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied -
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine -
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

"No guilt in life, no fear in death, this is the power of Christ in me; from life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny."  What a wonderful reminder that every moment of our life is in God's hands!  I reminded my grandpa of that great truth.  

We read several pieces of scripture including Isaiah 43

But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
    he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
    I have called you by name, you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
    and the flame shall not consume you.
3 For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
    Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
4 Because you are precious in my eyes,
    and honored, and I love you,
I give men in return for you,
    peoples in exchange for your life.
5 Fear not, for I am with you;

My grandpa and I, back in February.

After reading him the verses, we went back and I talked to him about it...reminding him that we need not fear because he has redeemed us, he knows our name.  At this, my grandpa gave a grunt of understanding and a nod of the head.  I reminded him that when he passes through these difficult waters, he is not alone, God is with him.  

We read the resurrection story at the end of John and I was struck by the amount of times that Christ said, "Peace be with you" as He greeted his disciples and friends.  So, I talked to grandpa about that, and prayed that Peace would be with him, even now in his final hours. 

You see, Christ defeated death that day on Calvary, what have we to fear?  I can not express the emotion of reading that and believing it while holding the hand of one who is dying.  I don't know if my grandpa was afraid, but I do know he responded to scripture and hymns.  I don't know if my words brought comfort, but I do know that I was there, with him in that moment.  

I have always been afraid of death...not my own, but others.  Truthfully, I probably still am, but I consider these moments with my grandfather as an honor, in a way, a glimpse of the goodness of Christ.  Yes, he was dying, but it was not a real and full death.  He is a child of the One True God.  The moment his spirit dies here on earth, his body will become but an empty shell, and his spirit will be in Heaven, worshiping his High King.  What a privilege to walk with someone down that path.  

1 Corinthians 15:55-56

“Death is swallowed up in victory.”
55 “O death, where is your victory?
    O death, where is your sting?”

56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

 It is Monday morning, and as far I know, my grandfather is still here, resting peacefully, but why shouldn't he be?  Death has lost it's sting, His victory is through His Lord Jesus Christ.

Edited to say : He passed away just a few minutes after 2:00.
Absent from the body, Present with His Lord!

Edited again to remember: When I told the kids, they were sad and wanted to pray.  Then, Nicole went in her room and cut out a paper balloon (he always gave them balloons when they would come over), and wrote his name on it "Grandpa Bob".  We plan to release balloons together as a family in the coming day, as a way to celebrate his relationship with them.