The date

I didn't really plan on doing this, but I felt like I needed to bring complete closure to a very difficult time in my life...so...here it goes.

Today is my due date.  The day was honestly not as difficult as I anticipated (I have been secretly praying over this day for weeks).  I knew it would come - and it has, and now, hopefully I can look back and see how the Lord used my unexpected pregnancy, and even more unexpected loss in a way that, I pray, has brought him glory. 

6 months ago I lost the little baby I was not expecting, but had "made room for" in my heart and life...only to have him or her taken before they could breathe their first breathe.  I have learned a lot through that time, and through a summer that was so terrible, I'm not sure anyone really knew what was really going through my head. 

The past six months (ok, the past year) have been incredibly challenging, at times - flat out depressing and hopeless feeling, and recently, incredibly miraculous.  So many thoughts, emotions and feelings have flooded my mind and heart that I often don't know whether to laugh or cry.  But, the past six months have stretched my faith further than I knew was possible...yet, the entire time, I knew God was holding, not just my hand...but my heart.

After my traumatic miscarriage, extreme loss of blood and near instantaneous loss of pregnancy hormones - I struggled.  I know this might sound crazy because I was "only" 12 weeks...but, for the first time ever I understood what true post partum depression was.  Even in my deepest, darkest moments, I knew (although I didn't want to admit) that God was still holding me.  I knew because I was not acting according what I was feeling.  I knew The Holy Spirit was allowing me walk a dark path, yet was refraining me...holding me back.  I experienced thoughts and feelings that I know will help me to better empathize  with others, really...for the rest of my life.  Some of the greatest missionaries, pastors and writers have walked darkened roads, and knowing that has encouraged me. 

But, that darkness left almost as fast as it came.  By the middle of August, my mind became more clear. 

Looking back now, I'm not sure I would have changed anything.  One of my closest girlfriends went through a nearly identical loss, just a few months later, and I was able to walk with her unlike what others may have been able to do. 

Even the day we lost the baby, I knew and reminded myself that "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, Blessed be the name of the Lord."  I pray his name has been blessed, even through the loss of a pregnancy, a dark summer, the loss of a friend's baby, the redeeming of a mind blinded by pain, and a marriage strengthed through difficulty. 

And now, it's here.  The date I would have begun feeling anxious (because I'm always overdue).  The date I had already thought about for hours, then dreaded for months.  And, just like in mid May, I have thought to myself all day "Michele, The Lord gives and the Lord takes away...Blessed be the name of the Lord."  May His name be blessed and honored in my very simple life.  May he continue to mold and shape me so that He may use me to encourage other believers and non believers as we continue on our journey of life.

2 years old...already?

Today was my little buddy's birthday.  I can hardly believe he is two years old.  My sweet little baby boy is not a baby anymore.  He is a full on toddler who loves baseballs, footballs, cars and trucks.  He has a strong spirit, but loves his mamma.  He gives great kisses and loves to play peek a boo. He runs everywhere he goes and love to ride his little tricycle up and down the sidewalk.  He hates broccoli and loves black beans.  Nathan doesn't eat much for dinner, but he spends 45 minutes eating breakfast.  He says "Thank you", "cole (Nicole), and "nana" (Hannah) better than anyone on the planet.  Nathan loves to be chased...and loves even more to be caught.  He is a lot like his big sister Hannah but loves to talk to Nicole.  Nathan likes to watch Micky Mouse (I can't even write how he says it...kind of like "ha ha", I'm not sure where that came from) and is just now discovering Thomas the Train. 

Nathan is a precious little boy whom we adore.  I hold him and love on him every chance I get because I know those times will disappear more quickly than I realize.  We are so grateful for him and pray that he would grow up to be a man who love the Lord, is bold in his faith and strong in his love. 

Happy Birthday little guy!  I love you more than you will ever know!!!!

Mamma :)

A new Era

Today is a big day in our home.  We have been in a time of transition through a difficult year.  I am not comfortable sharing most of it on this blog because it is public, but I am happy to share how the Lord has heard and answered our prayers in person, on the phone or even through email.  I have rarely seen God move in such dramatic ways as I have seen Him do over the past 3 weeks.  This will be a marker in our lives, I am sure.

On to why it's a big day....Jeremy is starting his new job!  We are relocating a few hours north, Lord willing, by the middle of December (or a bit sooner).  On the same day Jeremy put his two weeks notice in at his last job, we got a signed contract on our home here.  We took off a few days later to look for a place to live.  We now have a contract on a home up there.  A home much larger than our current home and at a smaller cost.  Now, we are continuing to pray the sale of our house here would go through and that we would be financed for our home "up there".  (by the way, I am saying "up there" on purpose...if you know where we are moving, please refrain from putting it in comments, at least for now)

Once we move, I will be blogging a lot more.  We will be a few hours away from family, and I know those grandmothers will be all over me if I'm not posting pictures and stories of their grandchildren ;)  We will also have no outside responsibilities, at least for a time as we search for a church home.  I will be able to continue Classical Conversations up there.  I am so excited to be a part of the group...already they have welcomed us through email correspondence.  God even worked out the little things, like CC, for us.

The next few weeks will be full of packing, goodbyes and busyness.  So, if I don't check back in until December...that is why. 

Until then, know that I am grateful for the Lord for his provision in so many ways.  Pray for Jeremy as he starts a new job, for me as I pack and for our family who we are moving (a little bit) away from...I think it will hardest on them.

Classical Conversations Recap weeks 1-4

We are going strong in our second year of Classical Conversation.  We love this program.  It helps me have a focus and a goal as I homeschool Nicole.  I understand the philosophy and model behind it...and we will be sticking by it.  In about 5 years, I'll let you know how it's working.  Until then...it's memorize, memorize, memorize.

This year our history and geography are revolving around the United States of America and our science for the first semester is the Human body.  (Do you know the parts that make up your axial skeleton?)

We have learned the four types of tissue (connective, epithelial, muscle and nerve)

The 3 types of muscle (skeletal, smooth, cardiac)
The parts that make up the nervous system (brain, spinal cord, nerves) and our
Axial skeleton (cranium, vertebrae, ribs and sternum).

Last week, I found a really cool science lab discecting a chicken wing and discovering a lot of the words we've already talked about, and introducing others we will (like tendon and ligament).  I did most of the "work"  but, Nicole sat there, asking question,touching, poking and prodding her chicken wing.  I was fascinated.

Investigating the skin.  How does it feel?  What does it look like?

Hannah was a part of the investigation as well...at least for a while.

Nicole found evidence of feathers that were on the chicken.

This is a pretty good picture of the connective tissue.  We slipped the probe under it to break it so we could better loosen the epithelial (skin) from the muscle.



Just checking out the muscle



This looks like a regular piece of chicken you may see.  The white part are the tendons.

She has stuck a chicken bone onto her skewer.  We talked about how bones are made and the function of spongy bone and bone marrow

We practice all of our memory work every day.  One way we practice geography is by tracing the map.  She is using a dry erase marker to trace the states and capitals

We have also been learning about basic drawing.  This was some of our practice at home.

There are five basic elements to drawing: OiLs - Cirlce, straight line, dot, angled line and curved line (like the word OiLs).  This is a mouse.

Finally, we learned about Massechusettes the other day.  Did you know that a big industry in MA is cranberries?!?  I didn't.  So, we ate craisins for a snack:)



Finally, here is Nicole's Presentation on her family, I think from week 2.

Hannah's Pillowcase Dress

Nicole and I worked on Hannah's pillowcase dress last week. We did a few things different...but (don't tell Nicole this), I think Hannah's turned out better. 

We had this really cute length of hot pink flowers.  The lady at the fabric store told me to use wonder under and iron it on.  I have never used that stuff before. 

So, first I set out to iron one side of it the back of the flowers.  However, I didn't think about the fact that as I was applying heat the flowers, I was also applying heat to my ironing board.  I ended up wonder-undering my board.  What a mess!

Then I ironed the flowers onto the fabric.  Like I said, I had never used the stuff before, so I didn't realize every stray strand would make a glue mark. So, unfortunately, it's a little messy....but pretty hard to see far away.

Nicole sewed most of the hems, at least until she got bored.  But, she hung with again and watched a lot of it.  Nate and Hannah woke up, so I had to finish the dress that night.

I found a sweet new way to put on bias tape.  Finally...FINALLY!!! I figured it out.  If you sew, you should watch this video.  I've seen it several times over the past two years...but, it finally "clicked" with me last week.  I get it now. 

So....this was the final project.  I LOVED it.  I think it's just precious.

 Hannah did not like it...and still doesn't :(  It makes me so sad.  I don't know why she doesn't like it.  She was so excited about it when we picked out the flowers and fabric.  She was even crying when I made her put it in.  I don't know...maybe she'll decide she likes it one day.

Princesses

Earlier this month, I got a phone call from Jeremy's Granny.  She works at an assisted living facility/nursing home.  On the independent care side they were having an "Around the World" festival in hopes to mimic what Epcot, Disney doest every day.  Because Disney was part of their theme, she asked Nicole and Hannah to come up and be princesses for them during this time.  Their job was to have a tea party, while the residents walked around and enjoyed all of the different areas of the world.

Some of the other "characters" in the afternoon's performance

Of course, my girls can rock the roll of princesses, so they were all about it.

Princess Cinderella

Princess Snow White

Cuteness

Nicole started to get into it and began asking people if they would like a cupcake and have a tea party with them.  Most of them said no, or could hear/understand here...but she was precious anyway.  Hannah also tried to get in on the action, but her voice was much to soft and several residents told her to go find her mommy. 

One of the couples who choose to have tea with the girls

The lady in the Minnie mouse hat sat and waved to Hannah all the time ;)  Finally, we got a picture with them

Granny enjoyed having them (and Nate, Valerie and I) to show off.  She introduced us to most of her co workers, and a lot of the residents. 

A pillowcase dress

Lately, little girls from our church have been wearing "pillow case dresses" that their moms made for them (well, I think a few I saw were store bought at a boutique).  I thought they were adorable, and may be a good idea for a sewing project for Nicole.

Yesterday, we went to the fabric store and I let her pick out her fabric.  My friend Gabby gave me a pattern.  Between the pattern and this website, I made up my own version of the dress

We began.  We cut and we sewed and we even ironed!  Nicole worked on the machine a bit...but sat with me the whole time.  She asked question, worried about my fingers and watched for 2 hours while we worked on her dress.

If you use an actual pillow case, I bet the dress would take 30 minutes to make :)

I almost quit when I realized I had to use bias tape on the arm holes.  After three attempts, I got the two arm holes done, and they actually look good!

The dress needed something.  Nicole suggested adding some ribbon dangling down from the dress.  Instead, we found some lace my grandma had given me and added that to the bottom. Then, we covered our unexpected seam line with a strip of wide ribbon at the bottom.

I think the finished dress is really cute.  It's  a little to big (however, it ought to be fairly baggy...it's just what those dresses are like), and the arm holes are almost to small.  Other than that...I am super happy with how it turned out.

Now, I need to get Hannah's made.  She was bummed that hers wasn't ready when she got up.

Orlando - Mini Vacation - Part 3

Sunday, we spent the whole day at the resort.  Our resort was amazing.  We had a two bedroom condo with a full kitchen, living room and dining area.  We were on the 10th floor which was fun and we had a beautiful pool to spend lots of time in.  Our family really needed some "down time".  Time to just hang out together, laugh, relax and play.  So, that is what today was all about. 

After breakfast, we went to the pool for several hours.

It was really humid and the lens kept fogging up

 It is such a joy for me to watch the girls play together. 

Hannah spent hours playing and falling backwards

The girls...devising a scheme

I think Hannah had an idea, and Nicole her hurt knee.

They just go off on their own and get lost in their pretend world.  I heard them play "Jake and the Neverland Pirates" (a show on the disney channel), I'm pretty sure I heard them also playing "Tangled" a movie about Rapunzel.  They played games with other children and chased with daddy.

Nate played with the noodle and ball most of the time

Even while resting, he wouldn't put the ball down

Somehow Jeremy talked Nicole into going down the pirate ship slide.  What none us us knew is that it was windy and pitch black.

Waiting to go up the ship

She was a little upset when she came out (I heard her screaming the whole way, hehehe).

After a hot lunch in the room, we all took naps.  Well...not All of us.  I got to use a $50 voucher that came with my groupon deal AND a gift card to a spa someone had given me.  I got an hour long hot stone massage.  I have never had one of those before.  It was wonderful.  I could get use to that ;)

When I got back from my massage, everyone was up and we took off to Downtown Disney.  But before we got there, we spotted a Rawlings outlet next to the resort, so we stopped by there first.  Nate could not stop saying "ball" and got his own Atlanta Brave baseball bat and ball set.  Jeremy wanted to make sure he had a picture of this.   I think Jeremy could have spent several hours in that store ;)

Look at that wall of gloves ;)

He was so happy to have a bat and ball.

We spent a couple hours in Downtown Disney exploring the Lego store (while it rained outside), a princess store and eating at a sandwich shop.

Nicole's little lego creation

I have lots of friends who would disagree with me...but, I would be happy to never go to Downtown Disney again. Whew...that place stressed me out. There were so many people and it was eye candy for the kids.  They wanted everything in sight.  I couldn't get out of there quick enough.

Buzz Lightyear, made out of Legos

Once we got back to the resort it was after bedtime..but we took advantage of the pool one more time.  We played until 9:30 or so.  We just had so much fun with the kids. We even caught of glimpse of Disney's fireworks display.

We had to leave Monday morning...but of course we didn't leave until we played in the pool one more time.  Our check out time was 11...and we were in the pool until 10:30:)

Mommy and her boy....just chilin'

We enjoyed every moment together.  We were basically "unplugged", meaning Jeremy's phone was off...and I stayed off the Internet.  I wish we could that (being unplugged AND the vacation) more often.