I do not handle stress well.
That's not true...I handle REAL stress very well I think. For instance...if someone falls and breaks an arm, I can handle that. I go into get it done, don't panic, and fix it mode. If someone comes to me with blood running out of their head, I can handle that. Again...no panic, fix it, make it better or go somewhere to make it better. I can do REAL stress.
I can not do ridiculous stress. What does this mean? Every day little issues that really aren't really issues at all. Quite embarrassing really, the list of things that get me all worked up.
For instance...We met some friends at the beach today. It was wonderful, I got to have real conversation with adults, my girls got to play in the water. We jumped in the waves, floated around on a sand bar, played in the sand. Fun, Fun, Fun.

BUT....I didn't have a beach permit on my new van, so I had to pay a meter (crazy expensive by the way...I was NOT expecting that! It cost $.25/10 minutes!!! I paid $2.00 and barely got an hour in. Do you know what I could do with $2.00 at CVS???? Anyway...) Here is the embarrassingly stressful part. I had a time limit when my meter would run out. I'm a rule follower and didn't want to be late and pay for a ticket. I had seen city policemen and beach enforcers circling the parking lot all morning, so I knew they were serious. I pack the girls up and happily decline help from my friends, "I can do it...no biggie" I thought.
Yeah, so Nicole is dawdling, looking at ducks and bugs as I'm yelling for her to hurry up. Then, she starts crying because I'm to0 far ahead of her, so I stop and wait, getting mighty irritated and watching the beach patrol dude circle the lot. We make it to the shower, which are surrounded by a large family, I would assume, who are taking their sweet time. I finally get a shower open and the only way the shower will turn on is if I'm continually pushing the button. Not easy to do with a baby on my hip and a preschooler who doesn't like the water because it's to cold. Not to mention that the water does NOTHING to get the sand off...because you need that other hand to rub it off your skin. I am literally pounding on the shower button, trying to get it to work ( and annoyed that NO one is asking if they could help me. In fact, their kids are running around "stealing" my precious water I'm getting from the shower.) All the while, I'm watching the beach patroler, walk past my van, it's probably right at expiration time.

Finally, I give up on the showers, plop Hannah down in front the foot shower and try to wash off her little legs and arms. Then, I try to get Nicole near and she is screaming because the water "hurts" (it was coming out rather hard). I look like "Mother of the year" as I'm pulling her little sand covered arms and legs into the flow of the hurting water telling her to stop crying. I'm totally stressed at this point...but WHY????
We make it away from the showers, still covered in sand and totally stressed, annoyed and irritated. I'm thinking of my letter to the editor to complain about the stupid showers as I'm practically running to my van trying to get back before my meter expires. Nicole starts crying because her sandal came off. I yell at her (which I don't typically yell at her) to stop crying, put her shoe on and hurry up. I keep walking, and I see the beach patroller, walk away from my van. "GREAT!!" I think. I didn't make it, he's to far away to hear my pathetic plea for mercy, and I should just stay longer now with my friends since I got a stupid ticket. Yet...we proceed to the van.
My plan was to change the girls there, in the van, but since the shower got almost NO sand off...that wasn't going to work. Now I'm annoyed that my brand new (to me) van will now be covered in sand and water all because my stupid city can have decent showers (probably because people like me hit the buttons uncontrollably in frustration and break them).
Hannah screams, the WHOLE way home. Nicole asks me the same question over and over and over "Mommy, are we going home now?" and I ignore my poor sweet God-given children because I'm "stressed" and annoyed with them
I just took a perfectly fun and enjoyable day at the beach and made it miserable for everyone. Isn't that a positive trait?
OR (NOT as long of a story) I was "stressed" yesterday because it 4:45, I thought I had to go buy softballs for my husband AND be home in time to put dinner in the oven to then leave again at 6. I was a complete mess because I had to decide if I was a) go get the softballs or b) cook dinner...I couldn't do both. However, it worked out, the game was later than expected, someone else got the balls, and we all got dinner. But...I was stressed out about this silly little predicament.
It seems I get stressed over time. I don't like to be late and I don't like it when others aren't following my time schedule. I get stressed when I have dinner ready and poor Jeremy is home 10 minutes later than expected...the girls are screaming, dinner is now cold and I'm completely worked up when I should be happy my sweet hubby is home. I get stressed when we don't make it to church in time for Jeremy to carry out his duties.
The worse part is...these things should not be stressful. They really are VERY MINOR details in my life. I know this...everyone knows this. But, I turn them into such huge issues that everyone is miserable. There are many many things worse than eating a cold dinner or paying a silly parking ticket (but I would have been ticked!)
AHHHHH...thanks for letting me vent and share my very unlovely trait with you. I feel like I have been working on this for years. I must admit, I have come a long way. But, today...at the beach, totally put me over the edge. I think I acted more like a three year old than Nicole did. Pretty embarrassing and something that MUST be changed.
Any advice? haha
btw...I didn't get a parking ticket. All that stress for nothing.