Moving Day

Moving Day came with great excitement.  Each child got to ride in a big truck which made it all the more special.

Hannah got to ride with Uncle Chris...they talked all about Hannah's birthday
(Chris...if you don't come down for her birthday party, you will have one very disappointed neice to deal with!)

Nate got to ride with Daddy in one of the big moving trucks.  He said Varoom Varoom...and fell asleep a few minutes down the road ;)

Nicole go to ride with Gramps. Nicole so distracted Gramps (trying to get him to sing Mickey Mouse club house) that he made a wrong turn.  But, it's ok...he figured it out and made his way to the right house ;)

**Mommy rode all by herself, woohoo!!**

We had Greg, my brother-in-law Chris and our friends Aaron & Samantha help us move that Saturday.

Aaron and Sam were our first overnight guests, follow by my mom and dad the next night. My mom helped me unpack and organize the kid's clothes (thank you mom....they would probably still be in their boxes if you hadn't of helped)  My mom also played outside and met some of the neighborhood kids.

Nicole and Hannah played kickball with the neighborhood kids on their first day here.  The kids here are so sweet and welcoming to them.  I am more than grateful for that!

My dad helped Jeremy with a ginormous wasp nest (seriously....HUGE!) at the highest peak of our house.  And....most importantly (at least to me), he saved our house from a major sewage catastrophe!

Jeremy had to drive a borrowed truck back to its home...while he was gone, my dad heard the toilet bubbling and some yucky stuff came up through the sink.  He quickly began investigating and found that the our sewage drain by the street had begun to back up and overflow into the yard.  After more investigation and work, he found that there was a large stick in drain causing the backup and was able to remove it.  It's been find ever since.  Whew....if he happened to NOT be here....we would have had a scene from Meet the Parents on our hands, very very quickly.  Thankfully though, it was nothing serious, and a very easy and cheap fix :)

The next weekend, Greg and Valerie came up. Greg ran wires with Jeremy for a day and half and Valerie helped me decorate our living room and kitchen.  It was great fun.  I'm glad that each of our parents were able to come and visit so soon.

My living room!  We picked out the rug, picture, lamp, tree and pillows.  It's so nice and restful:)

Tonight we have our friends, The Hale's coming up for the weekend.  Nicole is busily making welcome bags for Peyton, Caulder and London:)  No work this weekend...just fun!

The Island of Pirates

After Christmas, when we owned our new home, but didn't have the time or man-power to move in yet, we were really in limbo (as far as where to live). We ended up staying with Jeremy where his new company was putting him up at...on a beach.  Score for us!

The view from our room was wonderful.  We had a big two bedroom room with a kitchen (Yay!)

Because of all the craziness in our lives the weeks before, I decided to take these few days and do only two things :1. Clean our new house, about an hour away and 2. Play with my kids.

Nathan...love this little boy!

Unfortunately, a cold front came through and we couldn't use the beach the way I originally planned.  However, I must say that I enjoyed the beach far more with pants and a sweater on than I ever did in a bathing suit.

They were so cold...but as soon as they saw how big the beach was...they took off running and screaming like wild children :)

The kids and I had a blast while Jeremy worked (sorry honey).  The beach was HUGE!  The biggest beach I had ever seen.  The wind was strong and very cold, but we enjoyed it (well, Nate cried quite a bit...but the girls loved it).

They dug holes

Nicole's lower body was completely covered

Played race with the waves (Hannah got so wet one day that her sweat pants kept falling down, haha)

The enjoyed the beauty of God's creation (so much so that I "caught" Nicole wandering off singing praises to God.  She told me that the beautiful sky and water just made her want to sing praises to the Lord!  What a pure child like faith and love for the Lord she has...I LOVE it!)

I love this picture

And this one too

I forget why, but one night Jeremy had to work really late. So...the kids and I put a pizza in the oven and ate cookies and watched a movie, after taking a sunset walk on the beach....it was perfect :)

Amazing sunset

Our final morning, we were even able to get out there before the sun found it's way out of the clouds.

Beautiful sunrise

This was an extremely peaceful few days that our whole family needed...it was great!  And, I would definitely want to vacation here again!

Saying Good bye

Our last few weeks living in Naples were filled with visiting friends and doing some of our favorite things :)

We had a fun play date afternoon with Ashlynd, Aleya and Cord (all basically the same ages as my three

Nicole and her buddy Ashlynd

Played a lot outside with Sydney, the little girl who lived across the street.

Nicole taught Sydney how to be a lizard catcher

Met Abigail and her mom (and brother) for lunch on an impromptu lunch at Chic-Fil-A

Went to Il Primo to make our own pizzas (this is the first place I plan on eating when I'm back in town...I don't know why, but I want me some Il Primo).

 (I thought I had pictures from this...I guess I didn't)

Went to "family night" at Chic-Fil-A to get the kids' face painted.

Hannah wanted a Christmas Tree

Nicole decided to get a balloon hat instead.

After that, we went downtown for the Christmas parade (my favorite parade of the year :)

And, I even got to go out for a "girl's night" with the other CC tutors from our Naples community.  I already miss them and the kids in my class. Our new CC class starts on Friday.  They have been extremely hospitable to our family by bringing us meals for the past 2 weeks.  I'm looking forward to getting to know them:)

My fellow CC tutors; Nicole, Sharon, Me, Gabriella, Michelle, Sarah, Jennifer

What Christmas is all about

I put this on Facebook on Christmas day...but I want it in our family history too.
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After church last night, Nicole was really quiet in the car. We asked if she was asleep. This is what she said.
"I'm just thinking about Jesus mommy. My head is full of thoughts about Him. I can't think of anything else! I'm thinking about how He created everything. And about how he came as a little baby and had to sleep in a manger full of hay, not even in a crib or a bed or anything.

And... I'm telling Him that I believe in Him and trust Him. And I know he died on the cross for me. And I love Him with all my heart.

My head is just full of thoughts about Jesus. I can't even think about anything else!

(momma was crying tears of joy at this point, that was the sweetest Christmas present anyone could have given)

Merry Christmas from the Rearden's!! May your thoughts be full of Jesus today!

A Chapter has closed

Whew....when I think about 2011...that's what comes to mind..."Whew" with a dramatic fall into a comfy sofa.  I don't think I have ever said this before...but I am SO glad that 2011 is over!

By far, it was the most stressful and difficult year of our lives - however, much was learned through it, our knees are calloused by it (not literally because I don't often kneel when I pray, but you get the point...we prayed a lot), our hearts were broken by it, and we labored heavily through it. 

I want to share the story, primarily for our own record keeping, but there is so much I just can't share on the internet (because you never really know who is reading, or who could be reading).  So, I will be vague enough to not get in trouble, but detailed enough that we can look back on Two Thousand and Eleven and set it as a stone of remembrance of God's provision in our lives, just as the Israelites did when they crossed the Jordan River into the Promised land.

Although the year started out joyous with the sale of the company and the weight of non-ownership off our extended family's shoulders, reality quickly tackled that joy and wrestled the next 12 months with it.  An incredible amount of stress and difficult decisions became Jeremy's daily life.  Even while on our "dream" vacation in Colorado, nearly 2 days was spent off the slopes and on the phone dealing with issues.  The stress-free vacation we had been saving for was taken. 

A few weeks later, we found out we were pregnant, unexpectedly and couldn't even share it with our family for another month.  During that time, the stress continued to build as we both began to feel physical side effects because of it.  Just as we had accepted and began to look forward to number 4 running around the house near Thanksgiving, it was taken.  The loss was just as unexpected as the pregnancy.

The summer months are a blur to me.  Jeremy was stressed, I was stressed, our kids were even stressed (looking back, I can completely connect the issues we were having, specifically with Nathan, to the stress levels in our lives).  Each day, we counted it as one day closer to Jeremy's 3 year contract being over (it was not even a year yet)

September came and I started thinking about making one of those paper chains things...you know, like a countdown to Christmas...only it would be a countdown to December of 2013 (a pretty long chain, haha).

Near the beginning of October though, Jeremy was told he would take over a 40% cut in pay and benefits, or he could be released from his three year contract (but not released from his non compete).  After much thought...A LOT of prayer...and legal counsel, Jeremy put his two weeks notice in. 

This is where it gets good....and where we see God's hand in everything.

That very day, we got an accepted offer on our house.  It had been on the market since the beginning of the year.  We had thought about taking it off, selling for less than we could, we had even though about renting another house to let ours be vacant.  But, NONE of that was God's plan...it was us, trying to make something happen.  We are so grateful that the Lord sustained us through our desires to wander and that we did not do those other ideas. 

All of a sudden, Jeremy had no job,  and we were getting rid of our house (which meant we would soon be homeless).  What does a family do?  Take a vacation to TN of course ;)  A much needed...Stress free vacation (Ok, not for me...I was dealing with buying a house somewhere else (to remain mostly un-named, because you know...this is a public blog, and you never know whose reading ;)  It was a great vacation and visit with Jeremy's sister and her family. 

We returned to difficult - not stressful- just difficult situations.  Jeremy was working out of town and coming home on weekends.  I was packing boxes and moved into Jeremy's parent's parent's house Thanksgiving weekend.  We expected to close on our house in Naples on Dec. 9th.

Nope...not gonna happen.  I learned a few things during the month of December...

1. I NEVER want to be a realtor
2. The Government is always slow
3. It's important to find a good realtor (our Naples realtor was very good....or realtor here was not.  It would take much restraint from me not to kick him in the shins if I saw him at Target. haha - don't worry...I won't...but I will probably be thinking about it)

December was full of lots of ups and down, seeing my dear husband only on weekends, spending Christmas without our own home, staying with family and at friend's homes who were out of town.  We even spent a few days in a hotel.

But finally, on one of the final days of 2011...we close on our house in Naples, and our one here a few days earlier...and on...December 31, 2011....we closed a chapter in our lives...We Moved out of Naples.  The move would have been more difficult if circumstances were different, I am sure...but I couldn't have been happier to finish the year in a new home, with my husband by my side, and my children playing in the street with all of the neighborhood kids.

Good bye 2011....Hello 2012.  I realize this year could be even harder than last year...but for now, it has been incredible.  We do miss our family, but so far we've seen someone every weekend ;)  Our lives in Naples have changed, at least for now.  We are nearly settled where we are now.  We are looking for a church and hoping to make friends.  We are playing kickball in our back yard with a bunch of 9-12 year olds who fight over who gets to play with our preschoolers (haha).  We have a bigger house to host our friends and family and Jeremy has a job he enjoys and a boss who appreciate him.  His commute is rather long, but hopefully that will change.  For now, the first 9 days of 2012 have been far better than almost any day in the previous year.

We are thankful to the Lord for leading us through the difficulties of the past 12 months...and trust he has used that time to prepare us for what lies ahead.

Christmas....Part 1 of ?

I love Christmas.  I love the season and I especially love Christmas morning.   I want my kids to remember what I remember at Christmas....waking up to coffee bread in the oven.  Checking out the presents under the tree...but not opening them yet.  Eating a yummy breakfast and singing Happy Birthday to Jesus over a birthday cake, listening to the story of Christ's birth and talking about it and then opening gifts....one at a time.  My dad would always pass out the gifts and we would get to see each person's reaction.  Christmas gift time would last for a while...and then my brother and I would play with our new toys the rest of the day.  I remember our gifts being under the tree for the next several days as we continued on in the care-free days of Christmas vacation.

Maybe one day that will happen.  Last year was a busy Christmas. We went to 5 different houses, I believe, on the same day.  I declared then that "Christmas would be at MY house next year ".  Well...next year is here and we are "homeless".  I mean....we have a place to live (and are extremely grateful for it), but it's not "home".

Back story - Our house is sold...almost.  It was suppose to close a few days ago, but the closing has gotten pushed back to due to government being slow.  We thought it would be this Friday, but I am relinquishing that idea now.  I have no idea when our house in Naples will close...I am praying it is at least by the end of next week.   Our house north of Tampa was suppose to close next Wednesday...but that won't happen since our Naples house is still not closed (and we therefore are still carrying that debt).  At this point, I am realizing that we may not have a home for Christmas...and no matter what...Christmas won't be spent at "home" :(

I am sad...but I'm also "at peace" with it.  I understand that sometimes these things happen.  I understand that God's timing is not mine (and it's always better, even if I don't think so ;)  This will NOT be the year that the kids open their gifts under our tree after a yummy breakfast and Christmas story.  This will NOT be the year I host Christmas dinner.  This will NOT be the year my kids bask in the care free week of Christmas break.  Nope...we will (Lord willing) be unpacking boxes, cleaning a house, maybe even painting.  Most of their gifts, although unwrapped, will remain unopened because there won't be a place to set them.  BUT...we are able to buy them gifts (and I admit...we went overboard as I felt like I needed to "make up" for last year). 

So...in spite of not being a home of my own this Christmas, I am grateful for the "little" Christmas-y things we have been able to do.

The kids helped their grammy decorate her Christmas tree last week.  OK, I'm gonna be honest here.  This made me so very happy and so very sad at the same time.  I LOVED how much fun they were having, but I saw (and heard) them making memories decorating "Grammy's Christmas" tree...not our family Christmas tree.  So....while, again, I am so thankful they had the opportunity, I was bummed it wasn't in our own house.  I think the kids will remember this year.

We have attended several community Christmas walks (where I forced myself to wear a sweater in the "cool" mid 70s temperatures).  We had fun eating junk, listening to music, watching terrible dancers and enjoying time together. I know we will attend another Christmas event or two and drive through Victoria Park,  the famous neighborhood with it's amazing lights display.  I am bummed we missed the tree lighting and Christmas party in the neighborhood we hope to live in.

Our plan is to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with my parents, and Christmas afternoon with Jeremy's family.  We are hoping to then go "home"...but, we may not yet have a home...we will have to wait a few more days to find out.

So...we are making the most of the Christmas Season, although it's not the one I had planned a year ago.  I am happy Jeremy is out of his old job and is very much enjoying his new job.  I am glad the "job stress" has been lifted from our family (only to be replaced with "house stress"...which will hopefully be over soon).  I am thankful we have had a safe and comfy place to rest our heads and a garage and a half to store our stuff.  I am trying to wait patiently for our next place...praying for our house here to sell, and our home "up there" to buy.  We are missing daddy while he is working up north all week, and enjoying the time we get with him on the weekends. 

I have "let go" of Christmas this year...with all the ideas and dreams I bring a long with it, and I'm ready to "wing it" next week...thankful for my little family of 5 and our gracious parents and extended family.  It WILL be a good Christmas :)

Talent Show

Nicole got to participate in her first talent show earlier this week. Our home school organization CHEACC, hosted a talent show for students to be involved with.  Our Classical Conversations group put together a group of students to sing the song and recite John1:1-7 with hand motions.

Nicole was so excited about the talent show.  We bought her a new dress (Hannah also got a matching dress), new shoes (high heel at her request...makes me sad :(  and we did her hair that night.  She practiced throughout the day.

Beautiful Sisters

OK....I seriously can not believe how big she is getting!

Eh...maybe not the best picture, but I love these little people!

Super Sweet Sisters

Sweet Friends...Nicole, Emma, Mia and Madeline

Sweet Hannah girl

 

The date

I didn't really plan on doing this, but I felt like I needed to bring complete closure to a very difficult time in my life...so...here it goes.

Today is my due date.  The day was honestly not as difficult as I anticipated (I have been secretly praying over this day for weeks).  I knew it would come - and it has, and now, hopefully I can look back and see how the Lord used my unexpected pregnancy, and even more unexpected loss in a way that, I pray, has brought him glory. 

6 months ago I lost the little baby I was not expecting, but had "made room for" in my heart and life...only to have him or her taken before they could breathe their first breathe.  I have learned a lot through that time, and through a summer that was so terrible, I'm not sure anyone really knew what was really going through my head. 

The past six months (ok, the past year) have been incredibly challenging, at times - flat out depressing and hopeless feeling, and recently, incredibly miraculous.  So many thoughts, emotions and feelings have flooded my mind and heart that I often don't know whether to laugh or cry.  But, the past six months have stretched my faith further than I knew was possible...yet, the entire time, I knew God was holding, not just my hand...but my heart.

After my traumatic miscarriage, extreme loss of blood and near instantaneous loss of pregnancy hormones - I struggled.  I know this might sound crazy because I was "only" 12 weeks...but, for the first time ever I understood what true post partum depression was.  Even in my deepest, darkest moments, I knew (although I didn't want to admit) that God was still holding me.  I knew because I was not acting according what I was feeling.  I knew The Holy Spirit was allowing me walk a dark path, yet was refraining me...holding me back.  I experienced thoughts and feelings that I know will help me to better empathize  with others, really...for the rest of my life.  Some of the greatest missionaries, pastors and writers have walked darkened roads, and knowing that has encouraged me. 

But, that darkness left almost as fast as it came.  By the middle of August, my mind became more clear. 

Looking back now, I'm not sure I would have changed anything.  One of my closest girlfriends went through a nearly identical loss, just a few months later, and I was able to walk with her unlike what others may have been able to do. 

Even the day we lost the baby, I knew and reminded myself that "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, Blessed be the name of the Lord."  I pray his name has been blessed, even through the loss of a pregnancy, a dark summer, the loss of a friend's baby, the redeeming of a mind blinded by pain, and a marriage strengthed through difficulty. 

And now, it's here.  The date I would have begun feeling anxious (because I'm always overdue).  The date I had already thought about for hours, then dreaded for months.  And, just like in mid May, I have thought to myself all day "Michele, The Lord gives and the Lord takes away...Blessed be the name of the Lord."  May His name be blessed and honored in my very simple life.  May he continue to mold and shape me so that He may use me to encourage other believers and non believers as we continue on our journey of life.

2 years old...already?

Today was my little buddy's birthday.  I can hardly believe he is two years old.  My sweet little baby boy is not a baby anymore.  He is a full on toddler who loves baseballs, footballs, cars and trucks.  He has a strong spirit, but loves his mamma.  He gives great kisses and loves to play peek a boo. He runs everywhere he goes and love to ride his little tricycle up and down the sidewalk.  He hates broccoli and loves black beans.  Nathan doesn't eat much for dinner, but he spends 45 minutes eating breakfast.  He says "Thank you", "cole (Nicole), and "nana" (Hannah) better than anyone on the planet.  Nathan loves to be chased...and loves even more to be caught.  He is a lot like his big sister Hannah but loves to talk to Nicole.  Nathan likes to watch Micky Mouse (I can't even write how he says it...kind of like "ha ha", I'm not sure where that came from) and is just now discovering Thomas the Train. 

Nathan is a precious little boy whom we adore.  I hold him and love on him every chance I get because I know those times will disappear more quickly than I realize.  We are so grateful for him and pray that he would grow up to be a man who love the Lord, is bold in his faith and strong in his love. 

Happy Birthday little guy!  I love you more than you will ever know!!!!

Mamma :)

A new Era

Today is a big day in our home.  We have been in a time of transition through a difficult year.  I am not comfortable sharing most of it on this blog because it is public, but I am happy to share how the Lord has heard and answered our prayers in person, on the phone or even through email.  I have rarely seen God move in such dramatic ways as I have seen Him do over the past 3 weeks.  This will be a marker in our lives, I am sure.

On to why it's a big day....Jeremy is starting his new job!  We are relocating a few hours north, Lord willing, by the middle of December (or a bit sooner).  On the same day Jeremy put his two weeks notice in at his last job, we got a signed contract on our home here.  We took off a few days later to look for a place to live.  We now have a contract on a home up there.  A home much larger than our current home and at a smaller cost.  Now, we are continuing to pray the sale of our house here would go through and that we would be financed for our home "up there".  (by the way, I am saying "up there" on purpose...if you know where we are moving, please refrain from putting it in comments, at least for now)

Once we move, I will be blogging a lot more.  We will be a few hours away from family, and I know those grandmothers will be all over me if I'm not posting pictures and stories of their grandchildren ;)  We will also have no outside responsibilities, at least for a time as we search for a church home.  I will be able to continue Classical Conversations up there.  I am so excited to be a part of the group...already they have welcomed us through email correspondence.  God even worked out the little things, like CC, for us.

The next few weeks will be full of packing, goodbyes and busyness.  So, if I don't check back in until December...that is why. 

Until then, know that I am grateful for the Lord for his provision in so many ways.  Pray for Jeremy as he starts a new job, for me as I pack and for our family who we are moving (a little bit) away from...I think it will hardest on them.