New Challenges

The past two weeks have unveiled new challenges as a family of 5, with 3 small children.  I feel like I need to write out what's been going on, so in a few months I realize that it wasn't really that bad!

Where to start, where to start.....

Nicole and Hannah LOVE each other.  They fiercely love each other....sometimes that means being fierce, and sometimes that means being loving.  The two have been growling at each other, smacking and scratching each other....in a girly sort of way.  Here's a typical scenario.  Hannah and Nicole are playing in the green room.  Hannah looks up and sees a doll she wants to play with.  Nicole realizes that Hannah wants the doll.  She runs and beats Hannah to the doll.  Hannah screams at Nicole, waving her hands in the air.  Nicole responds by growling at Hannah, and Hannah responds by scratching Nicole's arms, or by slapping her hand.  No one is hurt....there is just a lack of self control.  We have been working so very hard on this for a couple of weeks, and I am seeing some improvement.

There are two totally different heart issues going on here.  Nicole, I believe is causing trouble for Hannah.  She knows she will get a certain reaction out of Hannah (a scream, slap or growl), which will then respond a reaction out of me.  Nicole is really doing very little physically wrong.  In the above scene, she has just as much of a right to the doll as Hannah (very few things would be considered "mine" in our house....).  But her heart is in the wrong place.  She didn't want to play with the doll until Hannah wanted it.  Nicole has memorized Proverbs 6:16-18

"There are six things the Lord hates, yes seven which are an abomination to him: Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that run rapidly to evil, a false witness who utters lies, and one who spreads strife among brothers."

Yes....she's memorized all of that, don't give me that crap that kids can only remember a watered down version of the Bible....read the REAL thing...I digress.....

So....in that verse, we have been talking a lot about a lying tongue (which has not been a huge area of temptation for her yet.  She's been caught in a few lies, and I think she understands how much we hate that....but I feel I can still trust her), a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that run rapidly (although she usually says "happily", which is kind of the same thing) to evil, and one who spreads strife among brothers (or sisters).  I feel like God's word is sinking into to heart, and I am praying daily that he will help her to understand it.  So....the past few weeks, I have been trying so hard to focus on her heart being wrong in the way she is acting.

Hannah is a different story.  She knows what she is doing is wrong, but obviously I can't have an in depth conversation with her about it yet.  We are still working on learning to have control over our hands and our voice and being "sweet", "nice", and "loving".  Of course I am also quoting scripture to her too...but she can't repeat anything back yet.  Hannah though, is an actress.  I've always known she was a bit manipulative...but, lately I have been seeing it come out pretty hard core.  It's nearly impossible to correct her because she is so good at distracting you.  She'll have you talking around in circles about whatever she sees that you soon forget why you even pulled her aside.  Or, she puts on this pathetically sad face that breaks your heart....only to discover that it was all acting!  She's a little stinker, in more ways than one!  I actually think she's going to be harder to parent that Nicole because of these tendencies.

It's hard to relate to them on such different levels.  I think Nicole will often talk or act like Hannah because she sees she's "getting off" a little lighter than Nicole may be.  Copy Cat syndrome....

Big issue number 2......Three children in one room!!!!  This had not been an issue yet, but I do believe it is starting.  A battle I am "girding my loins" for (I always thought that was a funny picture....back in the old days, the men wore long flowing robes, but before battle, they "girded their loins" or tied up their robes between their legs so they could fight.  Anyway, I just wanted to use that phrase).  So....where was I?  Ah...yes.  This is the problem, I can no longer sneak in and out of the bedroom without Nathan noticing.  So, when one child wakes up crying, often times at least one more, maybe two more also wake up.  When Nathan is rolled over at night, I can't just sneak in and roll him back, he sees me and laughs, and the screams when he sees  me walk out.

Today's nap was rough..  Nate cried for 20 minutes because I was in and out of the bedroom trying to get the girls down (they had to potty, or couldn't find their doggy, or so and so scratched me, or....whatever other excuse they could come up with).  All the while, poor Nate is watching me come in and out without a glance in his direction (OK, I was looking, but I couldn't act like it).  He did finally crash.  Hannah I think crashed an hour later, Nicole is still awake.

Ah, yes...one more thing I forgot to post...and this is a HUGE milestone.  Hannah is paci free!  She woke me up one morning a week or so ago (staring at me until I opened my eyes), handed me her paci and said, "Num num, baby.  Hannah, no baby".  So, that day at naps she didn't get her " numnum" (paci).  She did cry for an hour...but that was it.  That night and every day since she has been free of it.  I've caught her once sucking on one.  She smiled and said, "no num num Hannah" and giggled.  Silly girl!  I am very proud of her though.  Yipee!!!

So, I guess the fun thing about being a parent is that it is always changing.  Just when I think I've got one thing in control, something new happens.  It an incredible responsibility that I often feel like I'm going to break under.  I take things very seriously and I know I carry a much heavier load than I should because of that.  I just so desire my kids to understand why they make the choices they make and to learn to discipline their body, heart and mind to go against what their flesh may say or want them to do...and to follow what the Lord wills.  This is something I so struggle with myself, my battle between my flesh and my spirit...especially as a mother.  Please pray for me, that I will treat my kids the way I am trying to teach them to treat each other, with gentleness, humility and love.