Unwholesome talk

It's hot!  Hot, Hot, Hot!!  I know it's hot everywhere right now....but, I still feel like complaining.  It's to hot to go outside in the morning, and to hot to go outside in the evening.  It's insane to go out in the middle of the day.  I'm tired of being inside.  I'm bored and grumpy and ready for a cool day (thankfully...they will be coming soon to our family...more on that later)

I feel like grumbling.  Especially when it's hot.  I just got poop on my hand, my freezer won't freeze, I cut my finger with a can lid, I'm tired and whiny and complainy...and I'm having a hard time thinking of something nice to write on here.  I do have one funny story, but I need to take a picture first...which I'm to lazy or tired...or HOT to do! 

I keep writing more to this post and then deleting it because of how negative it is.  I have been working...for some time now, like months... on having more self control over my tongue.

Ephesians 4:29, 31,32

"Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification, according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear....Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." 

So...if you've had a conversation with me over the past few months and I become silent, it's because I'm trying NOT to grumble, or to speak badly about someone.  'Tis not easy.  There are many times (many, many times) that all I want to do is join in and blast someone...but it is not right.  In fact, it is a sin.  I have been working so very hard on the first part of this verse especially "only such a word as is good for edification, according to the need of the moment"  Sometimes the "need of the moment" means I must speak a positive word.  Sometimes, it means not speaking at all.  More often than not, I choose not to speak at all.

BUT...have I really learned anything at all?  I may not speak (or at least, I am trying not to speak) unwholesome talk in front of others...but, I almost always share my views with my dear Jeremy.  I feel like I may rupture inside if I don't share with Somebody what I really think.  As if my thoughts are really that important (because usually they aren't).  It's pride.  I want someone to know what I think...I want someone to acknowledge when I am right...and I want someone to justify how I feel.  Is it ok to share with one person those "unwholemsome thoughts"  The thoughts that are not good for edification, but thoughts that really could be used to tear down and break apart?  I'm pretty sure I shouldn't share those thoughts with anyone...and until I can hold them in...no, not hold them, but lay them down before the Lord and leave them there....then I have learned nothing and have not even come close to following that command.

I have no idea where this came from.  I just wanted to complain about it being hot...and me being tired, lazy and unmotivated.  I'm just in a complaining mood...and I want Someone to feel my pain.  Kind of pathetic....and kind of shows that I'm not as far along as I hoped I was. 

I'll share a funny story soon.