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I don't really know what I'm going to say here. I think I need time to decompress a bit. I love my girls so much, but it's been a rough few days since I've been back from Ohio. I think Nicole was dealing with my absence by "forgetting" how to go potty. I can't even tell you how many times I've washed her sheets and undies since I've been home. It's so hard not to get frustrated or show my frustration towards her.

I talked to my friend Jen the other day and she said something I keep trying to remember, because I think it is so true! Nicole, although she can talk now and say a lot, still cannot communicate her feels. She can't walk up to me and say "mommy...I'm really sad you've been gone, and I'm scared you might leave again". Almost every act of behavior is a form of communcation for her. Nicole all of a sudden wetting her pants is her way of trying to say something. I'm really trying to hold on this week and be patient with her as we settle back into everyday life. I'm trying to be submissve to Jeremy who doesn't want me to put pull-ups back on her right now. I agree with him about this when we are talking...but in the moment...the only thing I can think to myself is "wives submitt to your husbands, wives submitt to your husbands" hahaha.

Hannah seems to know when things are going crazy because that's when she lets loose with her tears too. Then, Nicole gets upset because I'm paying Hannah attention and the cycle continues...ahhhhh. Now, at last they are both napping at once. They truly are precious dear little girls, but WOW!!! sometimes I just don't know what to do. I'm thankful for my mom and my mom-in-law's encouraging words:-) I know in a month I'll look back and think this was no big deal...but right now...today...it's a big deal.

I wish I could go lay down...but my house is a disaster...and I still haven't unpacked. I've tried unpacking several times since I've been home, but I still don't have it done yet. Pretty rediculous, huh? I really want to be a good mommy and a good wife...but sometimes I'm not sure I can do both at the same time.